Don't know a damn thing about the canon, but in terms of the grammar, that's some scary stuff. *pats head* Not only is she an ellipsophile (new word!), she appears to be deathly allergic to our friend the comma.
I feel your pain. Today, in a fit of sulkiness over the appalling paucity of Bra'tac/Teal'c fic, I wandered to the Sam/Jack section of the pit and found an absolutely horrifying monstrosity in which our intrepid OTP did nothing but gush and fawn and refer to each-other as "my love" and "his Sammie".